Monday Message: So, I am going to use today as a request post from me and a reminder about how you might make a request yourself.
I would love your feedback about an aspect of Whole Loving Wellness and my writing/artistic work. I am longing for more effectiveness with my posts. I think I would see more “effectiveness” in more interaction in the “comments” of my posts and in reaching/hearing from others who I can help support as a result of my posts.
Could you respond here, or send me a message directly, with what kinds of posts you find most useful, enjoyable, or that tend to make you interested in what I am doing, or with other concrete feedback on my social media posts? Perhaps there was a certain post this past month you really liked.
“Types” of posts I think of are inspiring quotes; information to support self love, shifting anxiety, & general wellness; info about working with me, a course, or upcoming event; something fun/silly; gifts; a regular weekly post (e.g. Tuesday Gratitudes) which invites others to share as well; or passing something on from someone else. I also wonder how you like my recent use of my website to make the social media post shorter while offering an option to read the entire post quickly?
More about requests:
Requests can be very powerful and a chance to have change in your life and support. Nonviolent Communication has influenced how I see requests a lot. Marshall Rosenberg’s book Nonviolent Communication or cnvc.org has more info.
If I make them most consciously, I try to make the request concrete and doable, and connected to a need/value that I long for, and I hold it as fine if “you” say yes or no. If you say no, I intend to see it that you are meeting your needs by saying no, and to not be attached to a “yes.” I can always make a different request, even a request of myself, too! I might also share how I’m feeling when making the request.
Also, if it’s in response to something someone else has done or not done, I try to keep my statement about that action in terms of observation. For example, instead of “when you were late again today, I felt….”, perhaps, “I noticed you got here at 10:10 today and 10:15 yesterday when we had agreed we would meet each day this week at 10 a.m. Today I notice I am feeling a bit flustered and thinking I would have liked those extra 10 minutes to be at home. I’m longing for ease and I wonder if it would help if we could agree to both be here at 10:15 a.m. tomorrow and still leave to go home at 11 a.m. How does that sound to you?” (Those who know me know that I tend to be the person there at 10:10, especially if I’m meeting a friend who I think won’t mind, and getting my son ready too :), I will honestly say. This is something I’m working on, being clearer that I might be late and such in a friend setting and/or making more effort to be “on time” as I would for business/work.)
So, as you make your requests, I invite you to consider if any of this would serve you. And, I’d love to hear your feedback or an example of a request you would like to make (with the other person anonymous please).
Thanks so much and with deep love!–Kathryn